An Emamicipation Proclamation from Jalalaland

Redline is a big supporter of the current nuclear negotiations between Iran and the P5+1. In our less modest moments we like to think that our blog has helped the talks by keeping Iran's nuclear malfeasants on their toes. But while any progress is good progress on the public side of the negotiations, we can't help but wonder what is going on in the background back in Iran.

Take this guy - Jalal Emami (جلال امامي), Redline would bet a billion Rials that he is an explosives expert at SPND (سپند). (SPND is of course the organisation where Iran's wannabe nuclear weapons scientists hang out and play Solitaire while they wait for the negotiations to blow over.)

Mr Emami, we'd like to imagine, is a typical scientist at SPND. Big fan of test tubes. Owns a nice white labcoat. But while he's quite happy to stroll down Mojdeh Street (خیابان مژده) and into work each day, Redline wonders if Emami himself is worrying whether he will ever receive the praise he thinks is due from his masters - particularly the SPND big dogs, Mohsen Fakhrizadeh (محسن فخری زاده) and Ali Akbar Motallebizadeh (اكبر مطلبي زاده).

Never fear, Mr Emami! Redline is happy to give you some credit at last - a tribute comedy roast, if you will.

For those not in the know, Emami - aged 44 - graduated with a Masters degree in Organic Chemistry from Tarbiat Modares University (دانشگاه تربیت مدرس). Want to know how much fun he had as a postgraduate student? You should read his thesis - catchily titled "Preparation of aldehydes cyanide, hydroxyl, phenyl hydroxyl amine and tri-methyl cyanide solution in full lithium chlorate / diethyl ether." Sounds like a riot!

Like most SPND members, Emami has also spent some time in Iran's Ministry of Defence and Armed Forces Logistics (وزارت دفاع و نيروهاي مسلح) and has done some lecturing at Malek Ashtar University (دانشگاه مالک اشتر). In fact, if you've taken night lessons in the scientific modelling software MATLAB at Malek Ashtar, you might even have had Emami as your teacher! Presumably the exam question was on how to simulate a 50 kiloton nuclear explosion.. All this gives him a perfect grounding for working at SPND.

Of course, this raises the question of what Emami does at SPND. Project management? Warhead design concepts? Actually, there's probably a good chance that he's worked on those pesky exploding bridgewire detonators that the IAEA keeps chasing Iran about. Indeed, if you want to see some of Emami's more "explosive" work for yourself (sorry) just purchase this research paper that he published on chemistry of high-energy propellants. (Actually, best not to - that would be a complete waste of your hard-earned 39 dollars.)

Anyway, Emami may not be an A-lister like Fakhrizadeh or Motallebizadeh but Redline is sure that the IAEA would be happy to sit down and have a chat with him about Iran’s secret weapons programme over a strudel. Perhaps the IAEA should invite him to Vienna? Emami probably has some pretty interesting views on PMD.

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