Mohsen Fakhrizadeh's Money Factory

Money_factory

Things are still looking good on the Iran nuclear deal-making front. While there's a long way to go in the negotiations, the parameters agreed so far look like they will prevent Iran from making a dash for nuclear weapons for at least the next decade, and probably longer.

So what's Mohsen Fakhrizadeh (محسن فخری زاده), the man who would have been Iran's Robert Oppenheimer had he not been ordered to stop building nuclear weapons back in 2003., to do in the meantime?

Redline has spent a good few man-hours tracing the shady business interests of Fakhrizadeh and it turns out that he has built a very tidy nest-egg of extracurricular commercial interests to keep himself busy and top up his meagre MODAFL pension.

We've mentioned some of these interests before, and pointed out the slight whiff of corruption that surrounds Fakhrizadeh's commercial empire. And don't just take our word for it - there's been other allegations that the Fakhrizadeh family has been siphoning money from contracts given to the organisation previously responsible for Iran's military-nuclear research, SPND (سازمان پژوهشی و نوآوری دفاعی).

Under the auspices of a holding company called Sayna (هولدینگ ساینا), the Fakhrizadehs' commercial interests range from selling CCTV to running call centres to building websites to agribusiness. The day-to-day operations are run by Mohsen's three sons Hani (هانی فخری زاده), Hamed (حامد فخری زاده) and Mahdi (مهدی فخری زاده).

Mohsen_sons

The older brothers, Hamed and Mahdi, have traditionally done the hard work. But the youngest Fakhr is quickly making a name for himself. It seems that Hani Fakhrizadeh has taken a break from polishing his santour, yearning for a revival of the Green movement and replicating the shredding oeuvre of Metallica's James Hetfield. He's since had a haircut and is now a serious employee in the family security firm, Fakhrimen (فخر ایمن).

Hani has even won an industry trophy for his work, which he's been proudly displaying since March. Here it is:

trophy

Nice iPhone there, buddy.

(It's worth noting that the security industry trophy was most certainly not won by Mahdi Fakhrizadeh, who still hasn't mastered how to lock down the privacy settings on his own Facebook page.

Anyway, business is booming for the Fakhrs. The Fakhrizadeh family now owns the following companies:

That's not all. In the last couple of months Hamed has been busy registering a bunch more domain names and setting up new e-businesses left, right and centre. Basically, there's nothing that Hamed won't sell!

These are his new online ventures:

All in all, it's a bit of a tangled web. Here's how it looks when you tease it out:

secret_business

Better than making nuclear weapons, I guess.

This is far from everything though, in an effort to become a one stop shop able to fulfil every Iranians needs the Fakhrizadeh family has been moving into ever more innovative - and, frankly, crazy - business sectors.

For example: THEY'RE SELLING CONCERT TICKETS!

Bearded genius Hamed Fakhrizadeh (حامد فخری زاده) has recently registered the domain name bilitconcert.com. The Bilit Concert website is run by the Fakhrizadeh-affiliated Dadeh Negar Company.

And BilitConcert.com is now selling tickets to shows by the likes of this guy:

metallica

Metallica it is not. But the fact that the Fakhrizadehs have apparently entered the entertainment business brings Redline one step closer to the long-awaited Mohsen Fakhrizadeh/Prince supergroup. It can't be far away!

In case you think that's one e-commerce site too far for the Fakhrizadehs, things get weirder. Perhaps thinking that the nuclear deal is going to bring an imminent influx of promiscuous and syphilitic Western rockstars* into Tehran, the Fakhrizadehs have also entered what might politely be described as the family planning business. Hamed is also registrar for topiak.com, a website that offers the following products for sale:

products

Can Redline take one packet of Hot Time, one Cool Time, and three Stay Hards please?

Oh, and eighteen Max Delays.

Thanks Mohsen!

Given the history of nepotism and corruption when it comes to Fakhrizadeh and his family business, Redline thinks it won’t be long before SPND and MODAFL are stocked with Rakhsh Cleaning Products, buying their toasters from Arya Kala Home Appliances and practicing safe sex with a 5 Fire Sensation. And of course, AMAD Men: The Musical, brought to you by BilitConcert.com.

*Not Prince, obviously

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